Escape One-Shot
by Aintaru
Summary: (COMPLETE) "I... I can't lose you," he whispered. "I lost Peggy, okay? I just can't-" he cut himself off, deciding to carefully bring River into his arms. Steve/OC Ideologically Sensitive, containing suicide and depression.


**Originally Published on October 25, 2015.**

 **No Beta-Reader.**

 ** _Warning: Ideologically Sensitive Topic. Read at your own discretion._**

 **Escape**

"What is this?!" River was startled beyond despair while trying to shuffle and hide her belonging as Steve Rogers, also known as Captain America, barged in through her door. The sight he had been presented with almost made his heart drop as he rushed forward, grabbing the young woman by the forearms.

She shied away, her eyes downcast, her shoulders slumping forward. "Nothing," she finally whispered as she gave up any fight she may have had left.

"Nothing?! What do you mean, ' _nothing_ '?! Do I mean nothing to you?!" Steve was besides himself as he held her. So much turmoil swirled in his stomach it almost made him sick from the panic.

Her head snapped up immediately, guessing the fire within her eyes hadn't dampened completely. "This isn't about you, Steve!" She finally retorted, trying to pry herself away from his iron grip.

Her spit-fire attitude only seemed give the All American Dream ammunition as he almost spat his next words. How could she be so naive? "Bullshit! We're supposed to be a team. You're a part of my life now!" He tried to reason with her the hard way, not knowing that he wasn't clicking with her just yet.

Again, River pushed against his strength as she looked at the ground, her voice mellowed but strong. "No, I'm not. You don't need me! Nobody does!" The finality behind her words, the conviction with which she spoke them just went to show how true she felt about them. It showed how real they were and how much she believed them... and they stung him.

"How can you be so selfish?!"

Again, her head snapped up to look at him as she got in his face and yelled, "Selfish?! I'm sorry my life isn't about you, Captain!" How could he understand her!? How dare he call her selfish? He had no claims on her, she had no roots anywhere!

"Us, River! This is about us!" Again, his voice intensified as he _almost_ shook her. His pain was to the point of unrestrained desperation.

"THERE IS NO US!"

"BECAUSE YOU NEVER GAVE ME THE CHANCE!"

River's world became very quiet and very small as she stood within his grasp. Her mouth hung slightly open, speechless; and for once she looked him straight in his eyes. What she saw there both frightened her and made her heart squeeze with pain.

Steve Rogers' eyes were coated with a misty layer she'd never seen before as a part of him finally cracked. His shoulders were shaking with a fierce desperation to hold back all the pent up and painful emotions that ran through him. "I... I can't lose you," he whispered. "I lost Peggy, okay? I just can't-" he cut himself off, deciding to carefully bring River into his arms.

The young woman remained silent as the soft force behind his words impacted her to the core. The deafness of the room encapsulated her as tears fell down her cheeks. She was scared. What if this was a good opportunity, like all the others she had refused? That fear of opening, of accepting... Only to be let down again... Disappointed, that feeling never quite goes away. "W-What if things don't work out, Steve," her voice trembled. Her hands took a hold of the lapels of his jacket for support as she tried to ground herself.

" _If_ things don't work out..." He began with a little bit of hope and optimism. "I at least hope to show you other reasons to stay..." Steve remained quiet again, holding onto River, his face hidden in the crook of her neck as he mumbled some words before being heard clearly. "Does this mean you'll give me a chance, River?"

River's voice broke as a cry escaped past her lips. She was so overwhelmed with the prospect of finally breaking free of her troubles that all she could do was nod into his embrace.

Steve continued to hold River, not willing to relinquish what little bit he was able to grasp. His embrace tightened a smudge as he softly pleaded with her. "River, look at me... If we want this to work... you have to trust me. Trust me to come to me, to talk to me. If you... need someone, other than me, then tell me-"

Again, that mental wall appeared as she reared back in shock at what her mind told her he proposed. "Like a therapist?!" The walls around her mind a heart doubled as she queried against his ideals.

"Yes and no-

She didn't even let him continue before she almost yelled with hysterics. How could she have been so blind to trust him, to want to trust him? They're all the same! Nobody, no one- "You want me to see a _therapist_?!"

Steve saw the wild fear creep back into her eyes. "No! Would you just shut up and let me finish?!" His voice had risen over hers before he gently ran a hand through her hair and smiled down at her shorter frame. Somehow, that seemed to shut her as they stared at one another. "How can I trust you if you won't trust me? I need, no," he corrected himself. "I want you to trust me."

"I... I can't, Steve."

He remained quiet, still running his hand through her hair in a soothing manner. "I know, River. I'm not asking for a miracle. I know this'll take time... But I want to be there for you, to cheer you on. I can't help you all the time, and I can't help you out of this either. Only you can get yourself out."

A part of her seemed to finally realize that he did understand... "But what if I'm not strong enough, Steve?" Her voice quivered as her lips trembled with doubt and fear of the unknown. "What if I go down this hole again?... I don't want you to hate me! I-I don't want you to go away!"

"I'm not going away," he reassured her.

"None of us are, sugar cube." River's eyes widened at the new voice she completely recognized. She tiptoed, her eyes instantly swiveling behind Steve's back. Instantly, she brought a hand to her mouth as she swallowed a gasp. Her eyes watered again as Tony walked in with a hanky in his hand. He gave River one of the softest smiles she'd ever seen as he walked right up and wiped a few tears and strands away. "What? D'ja think I wouldn't notice if there was something wrong with my family?" He almost cooed the question before his signature smirk took its place.

River remained quiet and shocked at the mere mention of considering her family... But before she even had a moment to register that someone else knew her secret, that someone else would reject her, Tony tossed the hanky at her face. "You're stuck with us, kid, like it or not..." Another watery smile graced River's face as she tried accepting everything that was kind of being shoved her way. But that last very long, not with Tony around at least. "Soooooo, did you ask her out yet?"

River instantly blushed and hid within the comforts of Steve's embrace. "Yes," she squeaked. "Yes, he did." She hid her face as warmth seeped down her face and neck.

"Awesome! I'll go tell the gang," came Tony's muffled reply as he began to walk off. "We're having shawarma tonight!"

"Uhhhm..." River was uncertain about how she felt now that Tony was gone... And with Tony gone, that meant-

"It's okay," Steve chuckled as she looked back up at him. "We don't have to go with them if you don't want to." He gave her a soft smile but furrowed his brows in concern as River remained quiet. "What is it?"

"Do... Do they all know?" She tried to breath as her question finally escaped her lungs.

"...Yes and no." Steve shrugged as River looked at him questioningly. Her easily put aside any growing panic as he rubbed circles on her forearms and explained himself. "All they know is that you've been having problems coping with this... But they don't know... How..." He let the subject hang.

"How far I took it...?" She mulled and whisperer end the words, looking down again.

"...Yeah."

River swallowed thickly, her throat feeling dry before she nodded. This was her choice, a choice they were willing to help her through. "I'll... I'll battle this demon first..." She then looked at Steve and locked eyes with him. "and maybe one day I'll tell them."

Steve smiled down at River. Gently, he cupped her face and leaned in for a kiss. River's eyes crinkled with happiness as she careened into his touch, kissing him back for a moment before pulling away at a shy pace.

"I'll be here rooting for you," he whispered and she gave him a triumphant, watery smile in return.

 **Story Request by Ssvara05 on DeviantArt. Originally written in Reader-Insert format. OC named by irls-imon. PM me any discrepancies that you might find.**

 **Please R &R. Much Love~**


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